“For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45

“Put your money where you mouth is.” Unknown

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21

“What you spend your time thinking most about is what you care the most for.” Unknown

How many of you have heard at least one of these before? What does it stir up in you? Have you quoted them to someone before? Has someone said it to you? 

All too often relationships go a rye when one of the partners gets too self focused. Relationships can not work well when one or both people are overly selfish. So many couples walk through my door looking for help and often get discouraged when they come to the realization that a big problem is not just their spouse, as they thought, but their own selfishness. 

How often do we justify our thoughts and actions based on the feelings we have? How many times have you said or heard.. 

“I didn’t mean what I said, I was just angry.”

“ I do love you”

“ I am sorry”

I do love spending time with you”

Why are these statements not always trusted by your partner when you say them? Or why don’t you believe your partner when they say these things to you? Well the answer lies with the quotes above. 

For instance, so often we say hurtful things in the heat of the moment but think once we have diffused we can just take them back and move past it, however, that is often difficult to do. I believe that we as human beings are very much hurt much more by words than sticks, unlike what the old nursery rhyme likes to make us believe. The reason is this, if those hurtful words were not in your heart to begin with then you would have never have said them. “For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45 You can not pour from an empty cup. If you had never thought or felt that way then those words would not have existed in the argument but because they did your partner finds it hard to believe you did not mean them, at least on some level. So please, think long before you say something you can never un-say. 

The same is true for the other three quotes. Often we do not believe the words spoken because actions do not measure up, therefore the saying “Put your money where you mouth is.” Unknown gets thrown out there. People want tangible felt “proof.”

The last two allude to the money and time spent. If we are to take inventory of where we are putting all our time, chosen time, and money we will then see a trail leading back to our heart. Most people will not invest their money in things they do not see as valuable. Nor will they choose to spend their free time on something they have no interest in. This very much weaves itself into the fabric of a relationship. Often times a partner feels neglected due to time or money NOT spent with or for them or the relationship. 

The benefit of this blog post simply comes from just taking a critical look into your own heart. Is there anything that needs some attention?